Fun Stuff

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Good Philosophy


Always try to help a friend in need.


Believe in yourself.


BE BRAVE!....


but remember... it's OK to be afraid sometimes.


Give lots of kisses.


Don't be overly concerned with your weight, it's just a number!


Meet new people, even if they look different to you.


Remain Calm...


even if it seems rather hopeless!


Take a nap if you need one..


Have a good sense of humor and laugh often!


Love your friends, no matter who they are.


Don't waste food.


Take an occasional risk.


RELAX... EVEN, ON THOSE STRESSFUL DAYS!!


Try to have a little fun each day...


AND...it's important, no matter what...


to work together as a team,


share a joke with your friends and neighbors,


and fall in love with someone special...


Say "I love you" often.


Express yourself creatively.


Always be up for surprises.


Share with a friend.


Remember the saying, Good things happen to good people!


There is always someone who loves you more than you know.


Exercise a little each day!


Live up to your name.


Hold on to good friends; they are few and far between!



Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Raising Boys-- >

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas... Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way

6) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12) Super glue is forever.

13) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Quotes

"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."
~ Richard Harkness, The New York Times, 1960

"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world."
~ Dave Barry

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
~ A. Whitney Brown

"There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?"
~ Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~ Dave Barry

"No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats, approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less." ~ Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom

"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps." ~ Emo Phillips

"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right." ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers." ~ A Bit of Fry and Laurie

"Sacred cows make the best hamburger." ~ Mark Twain

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'" ~ Charlie Brown

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." ~ David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes

Quotes

"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."
~ Richard Harkness, The New York Times, 1960

"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world."
~ Dave Barry

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
~ A. Whitney Brown

"There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?"
~ Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~ Dave Barry

"No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats, approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less." ~ Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom

"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps." ~ Emo Phillips

"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right." ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers." ~ A Bit of Fry and Laurie

"Sacred cows make the best hamburger." ~ Mark Twain

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'" ~ Charlie Brown

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." ~ David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes

Mikey's Thot for the Day (4/5/05)

I'm NOT avoiding you...I'm ignoring you.

Tax Day...

As a public service to our American-based subscribers who have yet to complete their taxes (uh, due today!), I'm providing the following IRS form, at their request:

NEW AND IMPROVED IRS FORM 1040-2EZ
(Tax Year 2004)

Name:
Address:
City:
State:
Zip:

Social Security Number:___-__-____

1. How much money did you make in 2004?

$_____________

2. Send it to us:
Internal Revenue Service Payment Processing Center, Memphis, TN

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Online Bubble Wrap

You've got to try this! How fun!!!

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Canadian Sense of Humor


(Click to enlarge)