The Perfect Dress

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."

A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it." Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding!"

You Know You're Addicted to Ebay When...

Every time you go to the grocery store, you offer the cashier one cent more for each item in the cart of the person in front of you.

To cut costs, FedEx and UPS are considering relocating their operations centers to your house.

Sitting on the floor of your empty apartment, you stare at your fingers and wonder whether they'll sell better individually or as a matched set.

Your spouse is loving and caring but you decided to file for divorce because you need the storage space.

You're the reason they adopted the "No selling your children's vital organs" policy.

You find yourself searching eBay auctions for milk, eggs and bread.

When your wife agrees to have sex with you, you become suspicious and ask how many other bidders there were.

Just ask your kids, eRay and eFaye.

After a particularly passionate night, you lean over and whisper in your spouse’s ear, "Excellent service, great communication! Would recommend again! AAAA++++"

You set your alarm clock for 3 am so you can log on to protect your bid.

You've called someone a naughty name for outbidding you at the last second.

You've questioned your sanity because of the price you've bid... more than once.

You've changed all your clocks to "eBay official time (PDT)."

You've bid on something even though the picture doesn't show up correctly.

You've purposely run up the bid on something similar for which you paid more.

You've rolled your eyes at the word "antique" or "vintage" used on something made in the past decade.

You've gritted your teeth each time you've clicked on a description that uses the word "L@@K."

You've turned up the volume on your email alert so you'll never miss an Outbid Notice.

You've made "My eBay" your default home page.

You've emailed a seller to correct their description with accurate dates or details.

You've come to rely on "convenience cash" from PayPal and wish you could pay all your bills like that.

You've earned a "Shooting Star" Feedback Profile for more than 10,000 purchases!

You won't go to estate auctions because they don't take PayPal.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Ebay.

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