Punctuation is Everything!

An English professor wrote the words "A woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "A woman: Without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is everything!

Thought for the Day...

If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

Need a raise?

For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company. After a good annual review, my supervisor told me I was up for a raise, pending approval of the vice president.

A month later, my supervisor called me into his office and told me the VP had refused to approve the raise. His reason? I clearly wasn't doing my job. Every time he saw me, I was either chatting with someone in the lobby or talking on the phone.

I think I've talked to this person!

"Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company."

"Would you spell that, please?"

"Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."

"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."

Virtual Bubblewrap

Virtual Bubblewrap -- best one I've seen yet! Have fun!!!

Grocery Store Wars | Join the Organic Rebellion

This is GREAT, but be warned, it takes a while to download...and be sure to turn up the sound!

Real teachers...

Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk at Sam's Club.

Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty meetings, in the bathroom, and at the end of nine weeks have even been seen grading in church.

Real teachers cheer when they hear that April 1st does not fall on a school day.

Real teachers never sit down without first checking the seat of the chair.

Real teachers have been timed gulping down lunch in 2 minutes 18 seconds. Master teachers can eat faster than that.

Real teachers can predict exactly which parents show up at open house.

Real teachers understand the importance of making sure every kid gets a Valentine.

Real teachers never teach the conjugations of "lie" and "lay" to
eighth graders.

Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support

"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

"...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."

"Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."

"Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

"We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery."

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

"In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

"Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."

I can soooo relate!

New Gas Gauge for 2005

Hmmm....

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk I have a work station...