Old Age...
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me . . . I know we've been friends for a long time . . . but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least two minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
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Two elderly women were eating at a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mable's ear and she said, "Mable, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mable answered, "I have a suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is,"
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Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old drew a bath. She put her foot in and paused. She yelled to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yelled back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She started up the stairs and paused. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shook her head and said, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful" and knocked on wood for good measure. She then yelled, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
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An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
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Two elderly women were eating at a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mable's ear and she said, "Mable, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mable answered, "I have a suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is,"
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Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old drew a bath. She put her foot in and paused. She yelled to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yelled back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She started up the stairs and paused. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shook her head and said, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful" and knocked on wood for good measure. She then yelled, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
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An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
posted by Kim at
4/12/2004
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