Marriage Funnies...

You have two choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable,

Or get married and wish you were dead.

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At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,

"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

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A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:

"Husband Wanted"

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:

"You can have mine."

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When a woman steals your husband,

There is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

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A woman is incomplete until she is married.

Then she is really finished.

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A little boy asked his father ,

"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."


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A young son asked,

"Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa

A man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."


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Then there was a woman who said,

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,

And by then, it was too late."


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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.


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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict

attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.


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Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through

life thinking they had no faults at all.


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First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"

Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."


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A Woman's Prayer

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man,

to love and to forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.